So ripping on the Call of Duty games is like shooting fish in a barrell. Everybody hates the games save for a band of racist fourteen year old's online. Other people drabble a bit in the multiplayer but don't really give a crap about it.
People who play Dark Souls laugh at COD's easy gameplay, linear levels and unmemorable enemies and storylines.
Thing is, I've been watching a playthrough of the newest COD, Infinite. Call of Duty in Space, basically.
I have no beef with that premise. It's kinda cool. And I admit to loving playing COD multiplayer with my rowing friends back in the day so what's the fucking problem.
Thing is, the game starts with an unprovoked, kinda brutal terrorist attack. Alright, fair premise.
Then we get some cardboard villain who almost comically flaunts his disregard for human life. It's a little like unintentional Sam Rami horror.
Then there's the part where I get lost by the game.
We cut to some assholes on earth who want to strike a full millitary invasion against their hated enemies but can't because their hands are explicitly tied by politicians. That's explicitly their problem. That politicians are betraying them and tying their hands and keeping them from winning.
As my migraine starts to build it gets worse. The two handsome looking characters start to lament that War has rules of engagement and that those rules are really a waste of time.
My head continues to hurt as I've heard a lot of this shit before and not in fiction.
Then these two lovingly rendered motherfuckers go on saying that and I quote, "Warriors aren't in charge until there's a war."
And then I throw something against a wall.
I know that Call of Duty is basically propaganda for the US army and that it's supposed to make you horny at the thought of killing brown people. I get that.
But this bullshit hits a little too close to Germany's Stab in the back myth, circa post WW1.
And there's also the fact that in most places that aren't military dictatorships, the army isn't in charge. In the US, in Canada, in Australia and the UK and many other places that aren't banana Republics; the military always answers to a civilian government.
Traditionally the merging of government with military command is a feature of fascist strongmen.
And this festering heap of shit disguised as a game is trying to make that seem like a good thing. Like we're supposed to be sad that there are international laws of war and we're not all waterboarding each other and killing the families of suspected terrorists (thank you President Fucking Trump) and that we should be using less diplomacy and bombing the crap out of people like good Imperialist fucking drones.
Kinda choking on my rage because I see this fucking bullshit come from right wing camps. You know them, people who say "take care of our own first" "all lives matter" and who spend their time masturbating over dead Syrian orphans.
So yeah, as someone whose grandfather was eight when the Nazis invaded his home country, I'm a little less than enamored by fascism and the need to reflexively murder strangers like the fucking Wermacht psyching its troops up to deport undesirables and build a new Arayan Empire.
Fuck ya'll fascists anywhere, any time. Fuck you all with a wire brush sideways you fucking worthless pieces of shit.
Peace out.
People who play Dark Souls laugh at COD's easy gameplay, linear levels and unmemorable enemies and storylines.
Thing is, I've been watching a playthrough of the newest COD, Infinite. Call of Duty in Space, basically.
I have no beef with that premise. It's kinda cool. And I admit to loving playing COD multiplayer with my rowing friends back in the day so what's the fucking problem.
Thing is, the game starts with an unprovoked, kinda brutal terrorist attack. Alright, fair premise.
Then we get some cardboard villain who almost comically flaunts his disregard for human life. It's a little like unintentional Sam Rami horror.
Then there's the part where I get lost by the game.
We cut to some assholes on earth who want to strike a full millitary invasion against their hated enemies but can't because their hands are explicitly tied by politicians. That's explicitly their problem. That politicians are betraying them and tying their hands and keeping them from winning.
As my migraine starts to build it gets worse. The two handsome looking characters start to lament that War has rules of engagement and that those rules are really a waste of time.
My head continues to hurt as I've heard a lot of this shit before and not in fiction.
Then these two lovingly rendered motherfuckers go on saying that and I quote, "Warriors aren't in charge until there's a war."
And then I throw something against a wall.
I know that Call of Duty is basically propaganda for the US army and that it's supposed to make you horny at the thought of killing brown people. I get that.
But this bullshit hits a little too close to Germany's Stab in the back myth, circa post WW1.
And there's also the fact that in most places that aren't military dictatorships, the army isn't in charge. In the US, in Canada, in Australia and the UK and many other places that aren't banana Republics; the military always answers to a civilian government.
Traditionally the merging of government with military command is a feature of fascist strongmen.
And this festering heap of shit disguised as a game is trying to make that seem like a good thing. Like we're supposed to be sad that there are international laws of war and we're not all waterboarding each other and killing the families of suspected terrorists (thank you President Fucking Trump) and that we should be using less diplomacy and bombing the crap out of people like good Imperialist fucking drones.
Kinda choking on my rage because I see this fucking bullshit come from right wing camps. You know them, people who say "take care of our own first" "all lives matter" and who spend their time masturbating over dead Syrian orphans.
So yeah, as someone whose grandfather was eight when the Nazis invaded his home country, I'm a little less than enamored by fascism and the need to reflexively murder strangers like the fucking Wermacht psyching its troops up to deport undesirables and build a new Arayan Empire.
Fuck ya'll fascists anywhere, any time. Fuck you all with a wire brush sideways you fucking worthless pieces of shit.
Peace out.
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